Santa Claus List

Ah, Christmas time is here, happiness and cheer, fun for all that children call their favorite time of year...or something like that, right? Isn't that how the christmas carol goes? Yeah, Christmas is the happiest time of year, especially for children.

So, what if you could go back in time? Let your imagination wander for a bit and join me to that place of pure imagination. Where you see through the eyes of your younger self...as a child. Where mystical figures still exist such as the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and yes even Santa Claus. However, this go around is somewhat different. This time I have some serious questions for you Mr. Claus.

As a child, I always wondered how Santa tallied up his good/bad list. Was it a point system? Was it pure mathematics, where he came up with some type of formula? Did he meet up with the Almighty himself (pssst, God, what to you think about this one?). Either way, I never really understood this crapass system of his. I often saw rotten little brats get the best presents and shook my head in disbelief! Maybe it was a simple blindfold and Santa just randomly picked who was naughty or nice.

So, with this new and profound way of looking at the situation, I ask YOU Santa Claus...do you really check that list twice, big shot? Or how about this...have you been a good boy? Would you make the precious nice list?? I think not...you hypocritical, good for nothin, two-headed rotten snake! Or perhaps you would put on that infamous blindfold and magically appear on the list like all the other rift rats I see.

I'm not bitter...well, maybe a little...I just want answers! Answer the little ten year-old boy, why oh why, did the rich kid who tormented everyone get the Super Nintendo, and I got a pair of socks and some Voltron tidy whities? Tell me why, I was made fun of in class for getting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle sneakers, while the big snot received a brand new 10 speed bike? So, Santa wherever you are, hurry down the chimney, drink the cookies and milk and tell me why, oh why Santa why?